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The Benefits of Being Submissive
by Jack Rinella

"Why would anyone want to be a slave?" is an question that occurs over and over again from those who are curious but uninformed about our lifestyle. It's not hard to understand why such would be the case, of course, since it looks like all work and no play.

Conversely it seems all too reasonable that a person would enjoy being the dominant in the relationship as that position appears to have accumulated all the benefits with none of the drudgery. Assumptions are deceiving as each role has its pros and its cons.

I've asked Patrick to write about his feelings on the subject, as he is very often the subject of the above conversations. People who meet us are often fascinated by our lifestyle, especially his devotion and service to me. After all, how many people can attest to having done so little laundry, dusting, cooking, and cleaning in the last six years as I? Unfortunately his schedule is such that I'm going to have to do the task myself.

It's not that difficult for me, actually, since I can easily remember the five years I spent as slave to Master Lynn. From that experience I learned that the life of a slave has its bennies as well. Let me see how well I can recount them.

The first benefit is the one that comes with the territory, so to speak, and that is the very real sense of belonging. Indeed the whole idea of slavery is best summed up in the idea, which has no legal standing, that the slave is property. As "mine" the slave belongs to me. Herein is found a deep sense of security and a firm realization of the completeness of one's position. There is no ambivalence here. That knowledge of one's place makes for contentment, given the caveat that the place is right.

With slavery comes a strong sense of service given, which is its own reward. To know that one's service is appreciated, needed, and helpful gives the servant strong feelings of satisfaction. I'll grant you that in this case it's helpful, if not necessary, for the top to affirm the service, but even if that isn't the case, there is much in our society that reinforces the goodness of service. We all take pleasure in a job well done, and slaves are no exceptions to this rule.

So task-oriented persons who are slaves can find immense pleasure in their accomplishments. Certainly Patrick enjoys knowing that his cooking and his computing are satisfying to me and to my friends. He can be justly proud of a meal well-done or of a website well-created. I felt the same way when the laundry was done and house clean.

There is something deep within the human psyche that seeks a close connection with others. Bonding is its own reward and the joy of the Master/slave relationship, or even the top/bottom one, is that the partners often bond at very deep and meaningful levels. I've found that increasing the intensity of the relationship increases the bond, whether the intensity be sexual or in terms of control and obedience.

Surrendering control to another and obeying their directions frees the submissive, to a degree, from the responsibility of always having to make decisions. This, of course, is a tempered attribute, as the submissive can never so surrender his or her will in such a way as to become irresponsible. But deciding to trust another's decisions does free the submissive from many routine and recurring questions. When I was a slave, for instance, I didn't have to make choices about which restaurant we should eat at or when we should get up in the morning.

Taking this idea a step further, the submissive is also freed from many decision-related chores if the dominant is willing and able to assume them. That being the case, for instance, Patrick is no longer concerned with paying bills, balancing budgets, or reconciling bank statements. On the other hand, as Master, I often wish for a slave who would become my financial and clerical assistant.

It is generally taken for granted that the submissives in our midst often have the best time in our play. I can certainly attest to the fact that my Master was adept at bringing me into enjoyable altered states. As he did his masterful thing to me, whether it was bondage, discipline, or some other form of control, I would experience indescribable bliss, visions, and pleasure. The chores were quickly all worth it, to say the least.

I have to add, too, that I strongly believe that it is the chores, the consistent submission, the attention to non-sexual details of service that in a very real way enhance the dungeon play. It is very true that the domestic service is every bit as much fore-play and part of the eventual orgasm as kissing or fondling or warming up a butt with a crop. I used to spend Saturdays at my Master's home, naked and cleaning the house. By the time he arrived home for dinner I was horny as could be.

Casual observers, amazed at the kinkiness of an SM relationship, often fail to see the very real love that exists between committed SM partners. That is because the drama of the lifestyle takes first place. It is also due to the fact that we express love in very non-traditional ways, which in no way means that it isn't a valid expression.

This, of course, is a cultural phenomenon. Many might be surprised to see Patrick kiss my feet upon greeting me, as I kissed Master Lynn's for many years. On the other hand, it is a common gesture of respect in some Eastern societies. I once witnessed two Hindi daughters doing so to their father at O'Hare International Airport.

Hard as it may be to believe, there is often much love in a dominant/submissive relationship, a fact that should not be overlooked.

There are many benefits that accrue to submissives that are dependent upon their relationship. As Lynn's slave, for instance, I was more likely to attend the opera, the theater, and go out to dinner, than I was when I was single. Being his slave greatly improved my standard of living, widened my social life, and taught me a great deal.

One of the reasons I became a slave was to continue my search to know more about SM. Therefore it is natural for me to admit that I learned a great deal about myself, about domination and submission, and about kink in general because of my submission to Master Lynn. I will be forever grateful for the opportunities he gave me to learn, not an insubstantial benefit.

The most telling benefit is the most personal. I was a slave because I enjoyed being a slave. The pleasure, the excitement, and the happiness were immense rewards in themselves. It is as simple as that.

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Have a great week. You can leave me email at mrjackr@leathermail.com or visit my website at http://www.LeatherViews.com . Copyright 2002 by Jack Rinella, all rights reserved.

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I'd like to put your meeting on my calendar. I'm available for demos, discussions, and lectures. For more information, just send me email at mrjackr@leathermail.com